"Let me tell you the story of my comic strip. I was rapidly reproducing in a petri dish in an attempt to disrupt the experiments of Dr. Grover when I was suddenly struck by the hilarity of day-to-day life. I realized that I had to share my vision with people everywhere and so I created an everyman hero so the reader could pretend to be involved in the events of the comic strip.

"As Dr. Grover cursed and threw chemicals across the room, I laid out the plot of the establishing strips; I designed a bildungsroman tale, as my hero journeyed from a youthful naivete to a rugged and disillusioned adulthood. He faced and overcame adversity in the manner of a superman. Nietzche would be most proud of my protagonist.

"To the sweet jingle of Dr. Grover's pitiful attempts to destroy what I had so subtly sabotaged, I conceived of the world of my hero, a place where things were not what they seemed and around every corner was a horrifying revelation or a hot dog vendor. In this land, I could conceive of any events I desired and they could come to pass without offending the readers' sensibilities.

"With the foundation laid, I fled the lab of Dr. Grover and fasted for seventy days, which is actually pretty easy for me because I am an amoeba. After my seventy day ordeal, I roamed the streets and shopping malls, my eyes opened by near-starvation so that I drank up all the experience to be had. All of it would become part of my comic strip, which I now sat down and drew.

"After a few false starts, I began to burn with the fire of creation; I became a blurred blob of activity as I symbolized all of the world with a few squiggles and colors. My comic will change your life, hopefully for the better. If it doesn't, you are untouchable and better off dead.

"Once I drew a couple comic strips, I got bored and quit. You know how it goes. It's a lot more fun being evil than doing any sort of work. Nonetheless, welcome to Orangehead. Forget everything you know.

"Quickly!Avert your eyes lest ye prematurely see the punchlines!"

Now that all you know has been torn down, can you click the return link?