Feast your eyes on this cornucopia of Waddell in awkward and compromising poses! Enjoy his visual embarassment as you stare at him with your beady lil pig eyes! Bonanza!

This is also the home of the official Waddell fan club, christened YAHWAYTH at its inception. The fan club picked this page to be its home because all the other pages are stupid. YAHWAYTH, as you could probably tell, stands for You Are Hoping Waddell Allows You to Touch Him. The current roster is a bit low, so we can describe them to you in detail. Get in on the ground floor by mailing me and be part of the one demographic despised more than any other on the web (except people on WebTV)!

Our club is run just like all the professional outfits. Every four years, we elect new officers, concurrent with the election of the American president so we can cash in on the media's desire for stories on dirty politics. One year, our incumbent treasurer killed and ate all the candidates opposing him! Needless to say, he plans to tone it down for the next campaign.

The president-for-life of the club is, of course, the man himself Chad Waddell. He tells us what to do, just like in a cult, but we ignore him, which is very uncult-like. Sometimes he gets really mad and turns red; our secretary will then fulfill his duties of manning the phone in case Waddell busts a blood vessel. Unfortunately, our current secretary can't speak, so we dread the day when events require a hysterical 911 call.

The vice president is a potted plant named Roger. Todd Delzinko stepped down as VP following a heated debate during which the organization shot down his idea to formally secede from the US. Delzinko was also upset that his job did not entail any duties during which he could pick up women. Following the resignation, the club voted unanimously to replace Todd with Roger, especially since Roger already had political experience from a stint he did as Public Liaison in the late 80s. There are no hard feelings, though, as Todd is doing all of our web work! Blame his shoddy work ethic, not ours!

Our secretary is a celebrity in its own right: Orbephat the Evil Ameba! Known as the voice of Rosybud Raccoon on Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and acclaimed illustrator of Orangehead, Orbephat comes to us with a resume full of exciting accomplishments. With deep and profound love for Waddell, the Evil Ameba has dedicated itself to advancing his cause. "Slime! I am what Waddell wishes he could be! There is more greatness in my ribosomes than in all of this Waddell's body! He shall fall as you all will to my singular lust for supremacy!" said Orbephat when asked about its involvement in YAHWAYTH.

Sergeant of Arms Jones is currently in hiding due to a misunderstanding involving several catapults he built out of old tires in his backyard. Normally, he would preside over refreshments and distribute our party hats, but his circumstances required he find someone else to do it. His chosen replacement, Charlton Heston, has yet to appear at a meeting, but we are hopeful he will eventually show and bring lots of Diet 7-Up.

Our corporate sponsorship is handled by Public Liaison Bean the Cat. Let's hear Bean's own words in this reproduction of the latest YAHWAYTH press release. "Me am revealing dark deep lots of secrets about hyper unknown machine organization for you! Building underground where there am only moles and termites, they am being very quiet about plan of evil to bring enslaving to world! Me am hero to be bringing you many of details! Me am thinking you are being fools to not be making Bean King!"

Originally, the treasurer slot was the most sought after position since it allowed an almost unimpeded embezzlement of YAHWAYTH funds; recently, however, no interest, however remote, has been expressed in replacing the current treasurer, Domerwilget the Head. Everyone agrees that he is doing a wonderful job with his duties. No one could surpass the talent and vigor he brings to his job. I personally could not be happier with his performance as treasurer. Also, my doctor recently told me that my body fat is so low as to preclude the possibility of anyone, say, gnawing on me without sacrificing a few teeth. On a secondary note, Domerwilget a page!

Finally, I am the recorder. I am the word. I am the one who got stuck writing everything down for the YAHWAYTH web site. People used to call me by my name, but now i am just Janitorial-Servicepeson for Life for YAHWAYTH or 'Jusly' for short. Pity me. Now, on with the Waddell worship! Yay!

More efforts of the word can be found at the Auxiliary YAHWAYTH page.

Whenever you are sad, watch television! It will make you feel like you are not alone and people like you, even though we all know they don't.

	Butternubbin 35:12-32 "And forsooth the Light of Wonder gazed down on fair Waddell's head. And it stared at him verily hard. And he didn't know it because he was busy shaving. Then he went to Six Flags and sat in front of the carousel, where the light poured on his face with a bountiful blessing. Life was good for Waddell, except for the single nagging suspicion he always had that he was being watched. Soon, it would drive him mad, and he would set out to destroy every single flashlight in existence, casting all mankind into eternal and unyielding darkness! For now, though, the Light of Wonder watched Waddell and loved him, which is pretty much all the Light of Wonder was capable of doing except for the whole illumination gimmick." To the left is a picture. Study it. Love it. Live it.
Waddell suffers from a rare disease that leads him to believe he can speak to inanimate objects. Featured in the picture to the right is Waddell's prom date, a duck-like object we all called Isabelle for close to three hours one night; after the dance, Isabelle dumped Waddell for Tony, who took her to all the parties in the area. Waddell was devastated, but he soon learned that he was happier without a prom date to lug around. When he learned that everyone else's prom date could locomote independently, he was very jealous.
	Rather than go to some club and dance around like a ninny, Waddell brings the club to his hallway, as shown on the left. It's very exclusive and not just anyone can get in. First, there's a rigorous testing process that lasts well into the night. Then, the applicant's DNA is tested for any major defects, such as weak bones or blue eyes. Finally, a team of angry ROB Nintendo robots throws garbage at the candidate to simulate a typical evening with Waddell. If your lucky, you'll win and be allowed a few beautiful minutes groovin' it with Waddell. (However, the companion shown here didn't pass the rigorous examinations so much as wander into the photograph while searching for the staircase.)
"You lovable rapscallion! You've stolen our hearts and our minds and now you keep them in a jar on your shelf! Waddell, if you weren't so very lovable, we would have to arrest you and let the due process of criminal law take place!" That's the sort of reaction Waddell brings out in all of us!
	When Waddell reached manhood (last week), he underwent an ancient ritual designed to properly introduce the newly matured young man into adult society. Here, the camera has captured that most special of moments, the passing of the bongos. Waddell's radiance almost blinds the viewer as he firmly grasps his birthright, the mighty bongo drums. Later, he will probly beat it, but for now, he simply admires this symbol of his maturity.
Desolation a short poem by Chad Waddell The world is empty just like my liver.
	Here we see Waddell in a rare tragic moment. His poise and respectful demeanor shine through even in this moment of spiritual nadir. Nothing can trump his will to thrive and perpetuate! Nothing can stand in the way of his indomitable desire to survive! So, even in the darkest hours when hope seems meaningless and life is a horrible joke, just think of Waddell and let him inspire you to triumph! This and several other inspirational messages will be available from YAHWAYTH cards and gifts once the copyrights clear..

The journey of a thousand steps begins with a single photograph. Do you want more? Too bad. You can go back though.